Bartlett's

Brian:
Dre: 

Zach: 


I had someone low expectations of Bartlett's going in as I had this burger this year and I was exactly so excited to try a fancy steak house bruger (sic) that I couldn't even wait for my friends to go here.  I was pretty disappointed the first time around especially at the $15 price point.  It just lacked flavor and the fries were also pretty disappointing.  This time around on the official visit, I have to say the burger and fries were much improved and almost as though they changed up the recipe all together.  They for some reason took the hickory burger off the menu leaving just the cheeseburger on the menu but the waiter said the hickory burger was still available.  All of us ordered the same hickory burger with fries.  
 The burger was much better this time but I'm still not loving it.  Specified medium and the waiter said, just to clarify medium, pink in the middle, and I said sure.  It came out with no hint of pink that I could discern.  Since eating at Stack (RIP) I have to deduct from any place where they ask how you want it then fail to cook it that way.  You almost forget a perfectly medium or medium rare burger exists with Stack (and now, there is no stack, so not sure who else can pull it off).  The burger itself was good but the flavor was boosted heavily but about 2 ounces of cheddar cheese, grated on top of the bun (no attempt at melting, which was interesting, and good, but have to think melted would be better).  They also provided copious amounts of hickory sauce.  While this is a tasty combination I think most any burger in the bracket would probably be good if you piled this much cheese and hickory sauce on it, but I can't score it highly because of this alone.  This burger has slices of ham on it which, I can't say really added a lot other than - wait for it - some extra chewiness that I could do without.  The bun was a now seemingly rare sesame seed bun.  I think I prefer it over the Challah style bun but not over the regular old school soft burger buns or kolache type buns.  All in all it was all a bit too much.  Too much bread, too much meat, too much cheese (wait, no, it was just the right amount of cheese), and too much ham.   It lacked the flavor of a burger like Stack or the outright explosive juicy burger-ness of Flattop.  Compared to the other Steak House Bruger at ALC, I would choose the ALC burger by just a bit although it too was a little bit too much in your face as well.
 Fries are shoe-string style, very thin slices.  They were still warm which is good for this style of fries.  When they get cold they are not good.  Atmosphere is nice, if not a bit uppity.  Our waiter was somewhat serious, yet professional, and was pretty attentive.  I appreciated his no nonsense stay out of the way style.  The price is well, high, as high as any burger we have had I think at $15.  Can I get that as a combo?? 
 
 

Box Score:  

	Andre	Brian	Zach
Bread	8	8	7.25
Meat	8	8	7.25
Toppings	8.25	8	8.25
Construction	8	8	7
Overall	8	8	7.25
Total Burger	60.313	60	55.31
Sides	7.75	7.5	7
Atmosphere	7.5	7.5	7.25
Value	6.25	6.75	5
Non Burger	18.375	18.375	16.75
Totals	78.69	78.38	72.1
Combined		76

Red's Porch

Brian:
Dre: 

Yuck.  Seriously, yuck.   We made an on-the-fly decision to replace Moonie’s since we had all been there and were all underwhelmed: decent burgers but not quite bracket-worthy.  Red’s Porch had a strong rep, and sounded very promising.   We couldn’t have been more wrong because it was really bad.  The giant onion rings were okay I guess but the batter to onion ratio was way off.  I ordered the Black& Blue Burger as I’ve recently become a fan but this might just be the worst burger I’ve had in Austin – no exaggeration.  The meat was overcooked and the blackened seasoning had a strange taste but the biggest offender had to be the “Bourbon Street bad Sauce”.   Not bad meaning good and the burger was smothered in it.  Top it off with some uninspiring bacon, add some poorly cooked fries and bad service and there you go.  Should have gone to Moonie’s after all; or Whataburger or anywhere else.  I did like the setup and I hear good things about their fried chicken so a return trip might be worth it but I’m staying way clear of those burgers.

Zach:

This place sounded so ideal.  It's billed as a cool South Austin eatery with lots of outdoor seating and good food and drinks.  What it was was a loud, unfriendly mini sports-bar with bad food and poor service.  This burger was not good.  I didn't even finish it.  I should probably just stop the review right there, what more do you need to know.  I can't remember not finishing a burger going back pretty much to my birth.  Not that I haven't had worse, but it was big enough that half way through I realized I didn't really want to continue in this endeavor.  The fries were overcooked to the point of being hollow inside which is just about the worst thing.  Service was sporadic at best.  My Dr. Pepper which I needed to help eat this sad meal ran empty and sat empty for what seemed like 15 minutes.  Well, you can't win them all and we lost on this choice to sub in Red's porch for Moonie's which we decided to kick out of the bracket for being mediocre and too far away. 

Box Score:  A VS B

Reds	Andre	Brian	Zach
Bread	5	5	5
Meat	4.75	5	5
Toppings	4	4	5.5
Construction	6	5	6
Overall	4.75	5	5
Total Burger	36.563	36.25	39.375
Sides	5	6	5
Atmosphere	6.5	7	5.5
Value	5	6	5
Non Burger	14	16	13
Totals	50.56	52.3	52.38
Combined		52

Red Wagon

Week12


Brian:
Dre: 

If I lived in Round Rock I’d probably be a regular at Red Wagon.  The atmosphere ain’t quite my thing with the non-stop country music and the grumpy ladies working behind the counter (although maybe that’s part of the “charm” they’re going for).  It does get some points though for having that sort of divey Texas roadhouse-y kind of feel.  Those burgers are what would keep me coming back if I was a local.  Classic, old-school cheeseburgers.  As Zach said, they remind you of a Mighty Fine but without the Mighty Fine price tag.  I too got the special – how can you not?  Double meat/double cheese fries and a drink for only $6.  You can’t beat that with a bat.  Toppings were pretty fresh for this style of burger and the onion rings were quite tasty.  This has got to be the best burger deal around but...it’s in Round Rock.   Red Wagon alone might not be quite worth the trip but if I'm going to the Dell Diamond or something maybe I'll stop by.

Zach:

Well, after our last few adventures in burger eating, Red Wagon was certainly a step in the other direction.  Most everything about Red Wagon is pretty average, except for their burger, which we all scored as decidedly above average.  The price is certainly a strong point as well.  In considering special awards we might give at the end of the season, no doubt there will be little competition to Red Wagon in that category.  Of course, should one factor in a drive from Austin and back, maybe not so much, but we'll leave out the logistics most likely.
     The burger combo is a little under $6 and gets you a double meat, double cheeseburger, fries, and a drink.  The burger is interesting in that even though it's a double, it's not a huge portion and it goes down pretty easy.  I personally felt it was an occasion where the burger on whole was better than the sum of its parts.  The tomatoes didn't look so great. The cheese is some cheap American slices.  Everything is probably about as cheap as you can buy to offer a burger this cheap, yet, all together, it takes pretty great.  It's definitely in the realm of burgers that are more popular and more expensive such as Mighty Fine, Five Guys, or Dans/Frans.  It probably even takes some of those down.
    Fries were pretty average frozen fare.  The onion rings were pretty tasty but were not the slightest bit warm when brought out which is kind of puzzling.  You would think they would throw them back in the fryer another time before serving.  Points of there for sure.
    Atmosphere is fake wood panel and fast food/diner seating.  A few ladies methodically and somewhat unhappily take orders and dispense tickets for a steady stream of customers.  The greatest hits of 80s country music plays quietly in the background.  There were both babies and old people there.  Not really the typical scene as some of the places we've been visiting.  Good for cheap lunch with co-workers but don't really recommend it for your next birthday party or anything. 

Box Score:  

Red Wagon Andre Brian Zach Bread 7.75 7 7 Meat 8.25 8.75 7.5 Toppings 8 8.5 7 Construction 8 7 7 Overall 8.25 8.25 8 Total Burger 60.625 59.69 55.625 Sides 8 9.5 6.5 Atmosphere 6.5 6.5 6.5 Value 8.5 8.5 9 Non Burger 18.75 20.25 17.5 Totals 79.38 79.9 73.13 Combined 77

 

Austin Land and Cattle 

Week 11

Matchup Stack Burger Bar VS Austin Land and Cattle

Brian: 





Strangely, I wasn't excited on Gameday this week.  Overrated, overhyped, overpriced gourmet steakhouse here I come.  Whoop-dee-damn-doo.   The fervor was not at all stoked on the drive down there, as just parking and entering the restaurant became a deadly game that few will play and hardly none can win.  I mean they have a really weird entrance off Lamar that I almost got into 3 wrecks trying to enter.  They have a cramped parking lot that was full.  There were several nearby businesses that were closed but went to great lengths to let you know that by no means should you use their unused and solitary parking spots damn you.  And then the shitty-ass The Tavern has a whole parking lot to themselves that they don't want to let you park in.  Strangely in the midst of all this, a real looker of lady waved at us in a thanking-type-manner as we gawked, as if we had done her a favor!  When does that happen?  We eventaully had to park three desolate blocks away, in front of an oddly-placed parking meter that was in front of someone's house.  WTF?  Luckily the meter was off at that point.  We then walked along a stone path that forked off into a very sketchy under-a-bridge troll scene that we didn't have time to check out.  Also, Brett Favre was tailgating in the ALC parking lot while all of this was going on.  


So then we go in and tell the lady: 3 people.  We get taken into a very fancy dining room and seated at a fancy table with fancy menus.  I look over and there is a couple to our left on a nice date and they were saying a prayer over their appetizers. To our right: Brett Favre  Dre goes to the bathroom.  Me and Zach realize in about 75 seconds that there are no hamburgers offered on the menus in front of us.  Zach, being slightly more aware and less stoned than I (as in he not at all, me incredibly) went and talked to a person that told him if we wanted burgers we needed to be sitting in the "bar area" which is a *slightly* oversized foyer where ladies in nice clothes and douchebags in stupid t-shirts parade through on their way to a big steak or from one.  Two bartenders served the bar, made drinks for the whole restaurant and also waited on the few tables.  OH SHIT I ALSO FORGOT TO MENTION THERE WAS A MURDERBALL CONVENTION GOING ON AT THIS RESTAURANT.


Anyway, I drank two Sierra Nevada Pale Ales on a way empty stomach, had a bunch of laughs and ate their big-ass burger that was really good.  Mine had green chiles and chipotle sauce.  They didn't ask me how I wanted it cooked and brought it to me *pretty* well done.  It still tasted delicious.  The steak fries were some of the softest and best I've ever had, no uncooked half-frozen bites here..  Dre's sweet potato fries were some of the best in Austin also.  Apparently these upper echelon burgers are half price at happy hour on the weekdays.  Leave time for a long parking trek and if you have extra time, check out the Troll Bridge!!


Final note: Brett Favre was not actually Brett Favre, but a man who looked vaguely like Brett Favre and worked for Red Bull and basically seemed like the turd in the punchbowl at ALC the whole time he was there.

Zach:

What can I say that Brian did not say??!  Not much really.  ALC did put up a surprisingly good showing vs Stack.  We really weren't expecting a contest here.  I didn't rate it quite as highly as Dre or Brian, so it came out at an 81 versus stacks 84.  It was a good burger but it was all brute force.  I added bacon, cheese, and a fried egg to the regular burger.  They don't play around with the bacon it was like 6 pieces.  I actually forgot to order cheese I thought it came on there and I was about to cry so I flagged down a waiter and said I could really use some cheese.  I offloaded the egg and bacon and offloaded the patty on a small plate and he whisked it off and it came back minutes later with melted cheese on top.  I noticed when I scooped the patty off that while it looked small it felt like it weighed at least half a pound maybe more.  As I was saying, this burger was like a double barrel shotgun burger.  Not much subtlety to the flavors but good bacon, a good egg, and good meat and toppings all combined for a solid burger.  I was a bit surprised that Austin best steakhouse of all places would not offer a less than well done burger... or maybe they do but the waitress who was also the bartender in the bar area neglected to ask so they default to medium-well to well done.  It was good but no comparison in my opinion to the way our Stack burgers came out perfectly medium-rare.  
 Steak fries were tasty although they may have been of the frozen variety.  The did remind me of steak fries as a kid when mom didn't pre-heat the oven so they come out a little soft and not at all crispy.  That's actually how I have always liked them but I have preferred some of the other fries and rings at other places over these.  
 The atmosphere is a bit weird.  Some people are here with suits on and drinking wine and having dates and then there are a few misfits like us with shorts and/or ball caps roaming around.  That's Austin I suppose, lucky for us, I don't think any of us really like the snooty atmosphere of some of the places we have been to in the past but we power through for the sake of the bracket.  
 Price is good at about $10 although everything is extra.  So maybe not that good actually. At happy hour burgers are half price.  Service was OK, friendly but sitting in the bar area means the bar tender has to come out and check on you which she probably doesn't really want to do. It seemed like 15 minute intervals for menus, ordering, ticket, paying.  All in all a good round of burger club for sure.  

Box Score:  

	Andre	Brian	Zach
Bread	9	7.75	7.5
Meat	8	9	8
Toppings	9	8.75	8
Construction	8	8	8
Overall	8.5	8.75	8
Total Burger	63.75	63.75	59.375
Sides	9	9	8
Atmosphere	7.25	7.5	6
Value	6.5	6	6.5
Non Burger	19.5	19.5	17.25
Totals	83.25	83.3	76.63
Combined		81

Stack Burger Bar

PICS

Week:  11
Matchp: Stack Burger Bar VS Austin Land and Cattle




Brian:
Dre:

Zach:

We heard some bad news about stack and that was that it was in some danger of closing due to it being owned by some notorious brothers who own a lot of clubs in downtown Austin.  I haven't kept up with this story although I do remember hearing about these guys a few years ago.  Apparently several bars or clubs have been closed and Stack's future... is in doubt.  We had to decide if we should move Stack up on the bracket even though it was some other spots turn.  On one hand, if we scored it, then it closed, we would never know how good it would have done in the bracket overall.  But if we didn't eat there and it closed, we would never get to eat at Stack again. This was a pretty easy decision - let's eat at Stack in case they close, because this a great burger.
 I had only eaten here once before, and it was pretty great, although I was a little, uhmm, messed up so it was hard to say with 100% certainty it was as good as I thought it was.  This time I would know.  I got some help from TABC who had already removed all the alcohol from Stack. I ordered the 'egg burger'.  It has a name like Morning Glory or Rise N Shine, I can't remember.  It has a fried egg, bacon, tomato, some aioli, and a unique Parmesan crisp.  It's kind of like a thin disc of cheese that has been pressed, perhaps by a hot skillet or something.  We all ordered medium rare, and what do you know, they all came out perfectly medium rare.
 No doubts, this burger is amazing.  The meat is some of the most flavorful to be found both through the seasoning and just from the meat flavor itself.  The bread is good but it kind of just melts away and you don't even really notice it's there.  I can't even remember what the bread was exactly because each bite was so full of the flavor of the meat and toppings that it was barely noticeable.  The bacon was great.  The Parmesan crisp adds some flavor.  The tomato was fresh. If it was possible to add any more flavor to the burger... the fried egg did just that.  The whole thing was kind of juicy from the egg yolk and meat grease, but it only added to the flavor and it all held together quite well. Top notch burger, one of the best I have had in a long time.
 Fries are just OK here.  Not a revelation or anything. They are shoestring fries which I don't like for many reasons as mentioned in the past. Mainly they get cold fast and are hard to eat without a fork.  Everything else about Stack is nice.  It's got a nice, open, clean atmosphere and service is great.  Price is quite reasonable for how good the burger is.  I did get a $3 upgrade for getting garlic and herbs on my fries which I felt was a bit much, but I'll know better next time... if there is a next time.  Here's to hoping Stack stays open, they are definitely the front runner at this point in time in my opinion.

Box Score:  

Stack		2/15/12
	Andre	Brian	Zach
Bread	8	8	8
Meat	9	9.5	9.5
Toppings	9	8.5	9
Construction	7.5	8	7.75
Overall	8.5	9	9.25
Total Burger	63.125	65	65.94
Sides	7	7	7
Atmosphere	8.25	8.5	8.5
Value	8.5	8	8
Non Burger	19.5	19.5	19.5
Totals	82.63	84.5	85.4
Combined		84