TEXAS CHILI PARLOUR

This week was a field trip for the SBC/SMC in that we were headed to Alamo Drafthouse for a Weird Wednesday screening instead of back to the Redroom Theater for Vigilante month. Field trips are always exciting and couple this with the fact that I'd never had a burger or actually stepped foot into the Texas Chili Parlour and you have a recipe for some mid-week excitement. I don't know if I'd ever heard of the place until that Quentin Tarantino movie came out. Well my buddy Zach was a pretty big fan so I figured we'd be good as gold tonight. Right as rain. Pleased as punch. Pretty.....pretty.....prett-ayyyy....... You get the picture.

We walk into the Texas Chili Parlour and this place was bringing the Post-Apocalyptic Styles for that ass! I mean seriously we walked in and a hunkered-down, toothless man with scraggly hair under his cowl cackled as he swept his arm across the visual palette of mutant customers gnawing on hunks of meat amongst strewn-about chairs and overturned tables. Actually what happened was a nice gentleman kindly mentioned that we could seat ourselves as my mildly stoned and generally confused looking self stared agape and confused and clueless upon entering the establishment. It did feel a little post-apocalyptic in that they were obviously on the tail end of a busy spell as many of the open tables we saw were uncleared from previous diners. We found a table way in the back corner, and I made sure to sit with my back to the wall so I could keep an eye on the front door. Always gotta watch the front door.

The waitress was at first prompt. She was cute, friendly and competent. We skipped the bajillion chili-centric options on hand and all opted for the Jalapeno cheeseburger. I added grilled onions to my burger in a stroke of genius. They don't have fries at this place which is okay with me, I mean I can see not wanting to mess with a deep fryer. Potato chips it would be then. I sipped my water (no beer for me tonight so I can try to stay awake) and watched the other sweat-pant clad waitress make the rounds. I can see why QT picked this place. It really is like walking off the downtown streets into some roadhouse type joint in anywhere, Texas. Wild stuff.

This is getting long. Pretty solid burger. The bun was restaraunt supply chain grade. Meat was cooked to my Medium order and a bit tastier than Jackalope's was but not super-tasty. This is another char-grilled burger. Again, I am more of a diner-burger/griddle guy. The burger was well put-together. Jalapenos and grilled onions were good but there could've been more jalapenos. Cheese wasn't popping at all. Tisk-tisk. The chips were Hill Country Fair Ruffles. I can get with that. But they get marked off in the end. I was nice and gave a 6 for sides. The waitress was super-good the whole time until the end where she didn't come for fifteen minutes to get the check while she gabbed at the bar with SweatPants and the barkeep. i still gave a decent tip. I won't be hurrying back to TCP in the end, unless it beats out its opponent: Hill's Cafe. Stay tuned.

Zach's Review of Burger: The TCP has been a newish favorite place to go eat since discovering it maybe a year or so ago. I never really ventured in because I'm not that big on Chili but they have a lot of other good things on the menu. Not too long ago I discovered the burger and thought it was really good. I had it twice before this outing where it was going to count, and unfortunately this burger seemed different than the two I had before. Those two seemed a little more "old school" meaning they seemed a little flatter and juicier and tastier. This burger seemed a little more "back yard". The patty was thicker and was a bit chewy. The waitress asked how we would like it cooked and I said for mine med-rare. She says "THAT'S a BOLD MOVE!". Not exactly what I want to hear... I can only assume if any place is asking how you want your meat cooked, that means that anything from rare to charred is an option and there shouldn't be anything TOO bold about that. It came out looking about medium to medium well. The bun seemed thicker than before and sort of generic as well. Sides were not too exciting. Not enough cheese. In the past it seemed like a good ratio of bun/meat/cheese but this burger was heavier on bread and meat, and couldn't really taste the cheese at all. Got to have the burger balance. Had potato salad since they don't have fries. Not really very good potato salad. All in all not too bad, but not as good as I had expected. Service started good but fell off the cliff later on. Up against TCP is a totally unknown oppoent (to the three of us anyways) - Hill's Cafe.

Dre’s TCP Review: From the outside, the Texas Chili Parlor looks like a normal enough place but then you enter and wow. You’re immediately transported to another scene. Definitely a throwback, divey kind of place full of character and it’s easy to see why Tarantino used it. A tiny bit overwhelmed when we first walked in but then found out that it’s self-seating. I ordered a Bass Ale which was a mistake – it was obviously an older bottle: a little skunky and the label was wrinkly. For my burger, I settled on the Jalapeno Cheeseburger plus bacon with a side of potato salad. That’s right – potato salad because TCP doesn’t do french fries only chips and potato salad which was for sure this place’s biggest drawback. The burger itself was tasty and very solid. Expectations were somewhat raised because Zach regularly champions TCP. Bread didn’t add much to the burger but it held everything together well. The meat was the best part: a nice-sized patty that was juicy with a good flavor. Toppings were average: the bacon was crispy and delicious and the jalapenos had some kick but the cheese was lacking (this has been a theme since we started the bracket) and the lettuce and tomato could have been fresher. The burger did come together nicely though – better than the sum of its parts. Potato salad was bland – I imagine it being scooped out of a big tub. Our waitress was nice and started out well but lost points at the end when it became clear that complaining to her co-workers was more important than handling our business. Even though the Chili Parlor was the lowest of the three so far I’ll go back to take in more of the atmosphere and get another burger. Plus I need to try that famous chili.

Box Score: Texas Chili Parlor

Texas Chili Parlor			1/12/2012
	Andre	Brian	Zach
Bread	7	7	6.5
Meat	7.5	7.5	7
Toppings	7.5	7	6.5
Construction	7	8	7
Overall	7.5	7	6.5
Total Burger	54.75	54.75	50.25
Sides	5	6	5
Atmosphere	7	8	6.5
Value	7	6.5	7
Non Burger	15.5	17.25	15
Totals	70.25	72	65.25
Combined		69.16667

Casino El Camino Versus The Jackalope

Casino		Jan	12	VS	Jackalope		Jan	19
	Andre	Brian	Zach			Andre	Brian	Zach
Bread	8	8	6		Bread	7.5	8	7
Meat	8.5	9	6.5		Meat	7.5	6	8
Toppings	7.5	7.5	6		Toppings	7.5	6	8
Construction	8	8	6.5		Construction	7	6.5	7.5
Overall	8.5	8	6		Overall	7.5	6.5	8
Total Burger	61.25	60.63	46.25		Total Burger	55.63	49.38	58.13
Sides	7	7.5	6		Sides	7	6.5	6
Atmosphere	7.5	7	7		Atmosphere	8.5	8.5	6.5
Value	8.5	9	7		Value	8	7.5	7
Non Burger	18.75	19	16.5		Non Burger	19.5	18.75	16
Totals	80.00	79.63	62.75		Totals	75.13	68.13	74.13
Combined		74			Combined		72

Casino El Camino

Brian:

We entered Casino el Camino and it was a narrow dimly lit bar with a few seats downstairs and more upstairs along with pool tables.  The bartender was friendly as he took my drink order.  You order at the cook counter window so I ended up getting the Amarillo Burger on a last minute whim.  The Amarillo Burger has jack cheese, serranos and cilantro mayonnaise.  I didn't tell them to cook it a specific way so I assume I got the default Casino burger temp method.  The burger was ready in about 15 minutes, long enough to enjoy a tasty Ranger IPA from the bottle.  A nice waitress in a The Walking Dead shirt came around to check on our drink situation.  Picked up the burger from the same window where I ordered it.  They cut it in two for you which I like.  It was a big burger on a glistening looking bun.  It came with one piece of cheese and all the toppings I listed above and no more.  No lettuce and tomato on this one.  First couple of bites are yummy with bread and meat and the mayo which is good.  Then I got a pepper.  Damn that was HOT!  Wooo!  Now it's on.  The flavor of the meat won out though.  Mine was cooked medium rare closer to medium but still juicy enough.  The bread was soft and good and the meat was outstanding, good on the last bite and it took me a while to eat the whole thing because it is larger than your average burger that is a single, close to three-quarters of a pound I think.  I wish it had more cheese.  The size definitely played into the value.rating, good bang for the buck.  The fries were crisply and salty and made for good eating, but were overfried slightly and not super-potatoe-y inside.  The atmosphere was chill and the staff friendly enough.  I don't like the uncomfortable stool seating.  I would definitely put this in my burger rotation and go back, it was a good burger.

Zach:

I had pretty high hopes for Casino, it has traditionally been one of my favorite burgers in Austin.  We hadn't gone here though recently just because it usually takes so long and it is on 6th Street.  There had been some rumors though that they were faster now and there was less attitude, but also that the burgers were not as good as they used to be.  I had the bacon cheeseburger.  For whatever reason, the bun on my burger was practically burnt.  Well, it was burnt, I mean it was black on top.  It wasn't so black I couldn't eat it, but it was pretty odd they would send it out like this when I was with two people and I would know that wasn't right.  Sloppy.  It didn't really taste burnt, but overall I did not enjoy the burger that much.  Basically could not taste any sides (especially lacking cheese flavor).  One side of the bun seemed super thick and then at the other end it was super thin.  The meat is good but I think this goes to show that a good burger is a good balance of components that come together in the right way and they really blew it out my burger.  Fries were a little weird, overcooked but still decent.  Nothing special for sure.  Atmosphere is about what is always has been, they do seem slightly friendlier now.  The juke box also seems to play about half and half old country with punk.  Seems like it used to be about 90% punk or metal, 10% other stuff. Don't really care either way, but just noticed things have changed in the few years since I was there.  Overall, I didn't score this burger very highly as you can see but I know Casino still makes a good burger based on the rest of the team's scores.

Jackalope

Brian:

The Jackalope is another place to get a burger in Austin on 6th Street that is in a popular bar.  The Jackalope is slightly less divy in appearance than Casino, but not by much.  We entered and found a seat in a dark corner, but it turns out that dark corner was a stage and Blues Hammer was playing that night, so we had to move into the more populous seating area across from the main bar.  I didn't pay too much attention to the music that was playing but they were showing some ill movies on the TV above the bar, including "Brotherhood of the Wolf", which now I want to see again.  Our waitress showed up and she was friendly and very cute.  I knew this week I wanted a burger with blue cheese and wing sauce and that's what I ordered.  The only selection for sides is waffle fries, so I got some of those as well.  We enjoyed the scenery and atmosphere as we waited for our burgers.  The burgers showed up in a basket with the tomatos, pickles and alla that on the side and a whole mess of waffle fries.  They give you an unwieldy slice of lettuce but I wrangled it onto the burger all by myself.  I assembled my burger and dove in.The bread was soft and had a good texture I noticed.  I also noticed that the meat was not very flavorful.  The whole package of the burger was underwhelming to me the more I ate.  The blue cheese and sauce were not giving me the zing I hoped for: I could barely taste them.  It was a nice big burger, and it wasn't bad but it lacked that next step of flavor I hoped for, and was paling in comparison to my Casino burger from last week.  The waffle fries were crispy....perhaps too much so because they also lacked the potato flavor, but they had a good texture and weren't bad.  All in all I think Jackalope has a ways to go to unseat Casino.  I'd return here for a beer and a burger though because it is a cool place to hang out and the food was reasonably priced for good portion sizes.  Alas the Jackalope does not have what it takes to be a true burger champion right now and they did not advance past the matchup with Casino el Camino.

Zach:

Backing up to mention that we did not plan Casino vs Jackalope it was randomly drawn.  This was a great battle since in my opinion, Jackalope basically took Casino's atmosphere and food and replicated it.  It was a smart idea since Casino has great burgers but they are typically slow to come out and service could be surly.  It's a place you can't often consider going just because these factors.  Jackalope makes similar food but they do it with better service and are faster about it.  Like Casino they also have a dark atmosphere, typically play punk music, and show weird random movies.


Because Casino messed up my burger to some degree, it was a foregone conclusion my Jackalope burger was going to be better.  It was, and I do still hold Jackalope in my personal top five burger spots albeit probably in the 5th spot.  The black and bleu burger with buffalo sauce is very tasty.  This one was not quite as good as some I had had in the past.  Also the fries which are usually great were not as good.  Like they were not fresh out of the fryer (or oven as the case may be).  While I usually like the atmosphere here this time it was freezing cold and the service was not quite as good as the last time out.