Art's Rib House 

Looks pretty good

Just one example of Art's classy decor.

Art's world-famous pickle sliver.  You get one with each order of Ribs in addition to a delicious piece of wheat bread.  Note, I am being sarcastic.

Matchup:  Counter Cafe VS Art's Ribhouse

Counter Café		2/15/12		VS	Art's			2/25/12
	Andre	Brian	Zach			Andre	Brian	Zach
Bread	7.5	7.5	8		Bread	8	7.5	7
Meat	8.5	9	8		Meat	8.5	8.5	7
Toppings	9	8	7.5		Toppings	8	8	6.5
Construction	8	7.5	8		Construction	8.5	8	7
Overall	8.5	8	7.5		Overall	8.25	8	7
Total Burger	62.5	60	58.13		Total Burger	61.88	60	51.875
Sides	9.25	8.5	8.5		Sides	6	4	5
Atmosphere	7	7	8		Atmosphere	2	1	3
Value	5.75	7	5.5		Value	6.5	7	7.5
Non Burger	19.13	19	19.25		Non Burger	11.25	8.5	11.75
Totals	81.6	79	77.4		Totals	73.1	68.5	63.63
Combined		79			Combined		68

Brian:
Well.  I am writing this four months after the fact.  That is a testament to the fact that I am a sh(tty blogger.  Also, Art's is now DEAD.  I mean it is closed.  They ain't serving BBQ, burgers....nothing.  Maybe that is why it was such a crazy scene when the burger crew went there on Saturday night, February 25th.  We stood at the host station a good ten to twelve minutes before we talked to anyone.  People scurried about frantically in all directions.  It was like being in some weird part of South Austin after the apocalypse (heh, heh).  I remember asking to be seated as far, far away from the setting-up family gypsy folk band.  Apparently the best they could do was about 12 feet away from that.  Once they got going, they were loud.  I remember our waitress was kinda foggy and not very good.  It was loud, we were starving, it took forever.....  The burgers were pretty solid when they did show up.  The meat was tasty and juciy and there was a good bun to meat ratio.  I had had a good burger here before and was hyped on Art's. They had an underground rep for making a solid burger. They still made a good burger that night but obviously (and sadly despite my flippant tone) they were in the final throes of sickness.  RIP Art's.




Dre:

Zach:

     Sometimes going to eat a burger is just like a laid back sort of thing, and sometimes it's an adventure.  This week was the later as we descended in to a nether region of sorrow and despair known as Art's Rib House.  Art's is supposedly an institution known for pork ribs and I guess for their South Austin vibes.  If these are typical South Austin vibes though, I think I'll move to Georgetown.  

     Upon entering we made our way to the front podium to be seated.  We waited for 5 minutes plus with no host or hostess in sight.  A small crowd of people also hoping to descend in to the pit that night soon were gathered in the cramped waiting area.  A girl eventually showed up and greeted us with a pleasant "I have no idea where the host is right now but he should be here some time".  Eventually this ethereal host type person did show up.  I think he probably had to take a break to wax his mustache which I must say looked quite excellent.  Brian asked for a table as far from the band that was setting up as possible.  The host twisted his moustache and smiled and said "but of course!" and took us to a table pretty much right by the band, because, as it was written and so it is known, all tables are next to the band at Art's.  

     We sat a while and eventually someone came to ask about drinks.  We had already had enough time to identify the burger we wanted and probably should have ordered then but we didn't know that our server was going to be stopping by at an interval of approximately once every 15 micro-epochs.  Eventually when she did come back, we all ordered the Art's cheeseburger with bacon, grilled onions, and jalapenos.  There is always such a good BBQ smell in here (which is probably roasting flesh of those unfortunately trapped in the lower levels of the pit) so we decided to order a half order of Rib's also.  

     Then the band started to play and the details are a bit hazy from here.  It's probably the same way that you might recall being tortured with battery cables like the moments when they stop briefly you can recall but otherwise it's kind of a white hot nightmare.  I did have the composure to ask if the atmosphere could be worse because I did realize this might be an important baseline we were setting for the club.  Brian said perhaps if instead of this bad country folk rock they were playing punk, death metal, or celtic songs.  At about that time the brain scanners picked up on our thoughts and from a fiery explosion a kindly old man wearing a kilt and a bag pipe appeared.  He joined in with the band for several songs adding yet another dimension to the anguish.   After what felt like an eternity (but was actually only the amount of time it takes to blink an eye) our burgers and ribs arrived.  
     The burger here is solid and tastes of quality meat.  The cheese is sorely lacking.  Something was giving the burger a slightly over-salty taste - perhaps salt in the meat + too much mustard or lack of mayonnaise to balance, not sure.  The jalapenos were actually hot, hotter than most places to the point it was almost alarming.  We devoured the burgers quite fast, hoping to hasten our potential awakening from this dystopian nightmare rib joint and because we were also super hungry. The ribs were pretty OK.  While the meat was tender, the ribs did still have the skin on them which was somewhat confounding as typically it goes away with enough smoking.  Art's does not serve french fries, rings, tots, or anything else delicious as a side so our sides consisted of chips and pinto beans which were about as good as chips and pinto beans could be (salty and bean-like, respectively).  The service was, I suppose, great as far as torture dungeons go, but quite bad by typical restaurant standards.  Similarly, the value of the burger at $6.99 is pretty good by restaurant standards, but when you factor in the mental anguish and emotional trauma absorbed during the stay it's really nothing special.
    The important thing is, we made it out and live to eat another burger!   

Box Score:  A VS B

Counter Cafe

Counter Cafe VS Art's Rib House



Brian:

Eating at Counter Cafe was a surprise. The day began with our group's plan being to visit Mike's Pub for a lunchtime burger, which is out of the norm for our crew. Luckily Dre did *some* research when the day arrived, because he found out that Mike's Pub, which had won a burger bracket conducted by local sports radio outfit 1300 the Zone, was now closed. So much for that. Counter Cafe also has standard hours during the daytime only, so it was an easy swerve to recalculate the route for Counter Cafe, which I'd had once before and enjoyed quite a bit. Counter Cafe is a tiny. old, old-school diner type spot. It is about 12 feet wide, There is a long counter in front of the grill and a few 2-seater tables. At the very front there is a table that seats around 7 that can be shared by groups. There is also table seating outside, which we opted for given it was a pleasant morning. The CC offers only one burger option, no myriad of toppings to choose from here, which is sometimes a relief. I added grilled onions to my burger, which the waitress informed me would come medium rare unless I didn't want that. I like to roll with what a venue does best so medium rare it would be. I don't know if Zach used this line in his write-up, but he mentioned, and I agreed that the waitresses both looked appropriately cut from an American Apparel ad. They were nice and competent enough though. The clientele was a mix of Austin hipster and old-timers, but classy old-timers, almost gangster looking dudes. The place is cool.

The burger arrived in a very reasonable amount of time. It was served on a "sweet bun" or "kolache" type bun. This is a new breed of burger, similar to Hill's or Phil's. It is a thick hunk of bread, two halves that are each as thick as the patty almost. The bread was delicious. The meat was expertly cooked on a griddle to medium rare which gave it an almost cotton-candy like texture. My only complaint is the soft, big bun and the airy texture of the beef do not offer a good contrast. Maybe a more toasted crispier bun would be in order? Don't get me wrong, this is a very good burger yet and still. The toppings were very fresh and the grilled onions added a nice flavor. They get good points for using grated cheese, which is a long-beloved tradition that my friends and I deeply appreciate. You could taste the cheese. The fries were outstanding. They were a thin cut, a little bit thicker than a McDonald's fry. In fact they taste like gourmet versions of McDonald's fries. I hear the sweet potato fries were rollin' as well. This is a really good burger and overall experience at Counter Cafe. A little pricey but that is to be expected. It's a once a year or so treat type burger in the end, I think. It will be interesting to see if we come back here or Artz' burger can triumph.

Dre:

Zach:
So, we were supposed to go to Mike's Pub which is only open on weekdays during lunch. Well, it turns out actually they are not open on weekdays or weekends at lunch or dinner, because they are no longer in business. This place has a really strong reputation for their burger, so that was disappointing news, but making the best of things we decided since we were already planning for a long lunch to hit Counter Cafe which is also only open for lunch (and maybe breakfast too I think).
Counter Cafe was once the storied GM Steakhouse which was a tiny old school diner. It was somewhat of a legendary place, but it was not a place I frequented often because of the off hours and small location (no parking, no seats, etc). They closed down and the space went through a few permutation before becoming Counter Cafe. It seems what they are doing here will probably stick around a while because the food and service generally gets great reviews. Their burger also had some buzz going so we included it in our bracket. How was it?
Counter Cafe servers a burger for which we are becoming well acquainted with but we don't quite have a name for. We do know it's sort of gourmet, but not 100% and it comes on a sweet soft bun. I think some call it a Kolache bun, but I'm really not sure if it's really like a Kolache or not but the name seems to fit somehow. Personally, I do not think this style of burger can achieve the same level of burger-osity as an old-school flat top griddle burger with american cheese and shiny thin bun, but that does not mean I will not continue to enjoy them.
Counter Cafe makes a great example of this burger. You can taste the freshness in all their ingredients from the bun to the patty to the toppings. I ordered the basic burger with cheese and added bacon (a $3 addition). The burger has a good flavor although it is predominately sweetened by the bun. Ketchup brings some acidity to the mix. The tomatoes were good and fresh, but two thick tomato slices were too much so I removed one. The bacon was good and added some flavor but I don't know that it added $3 of flavor - the burger is probably 95% as good without the bacon. I also did make some deductions in the construction and overall burger score for the bun being a little overwhelming compared to the patty size which was ample but not quite as substantial as some places such as Casino. Good quality cheese and more than a lot of places give you, but with cheese, less is never more in my opinion. Overall, an excellent burger.
For sides I had sweet potato fries. Put simply, these are the best sweet potato fries I've had so far. Unlike most places that use some type of frozen ones, these appear to be cut fresh and are fried up nicely. I don't know if they are perfect, but they are the best I've had. We ate outside, so the atmosphere consisted primarily of the view of South Lamar and the parking lot of Book People. I didn't detract for that, because I know the inside is a pretty cool space. The service was attentive and friendly. The price is well, very expensive. $19 for burger, fries, water, tax, tip. But the burger is worth it and is better than many $15+ burgers I've sampled around Austin.

Box Score: A VS B

Counter Café		2/15/12
	Andre	Brian	Zach
Bread	7.5	7.5	8
Meat	8.5	9	8
Toppings	9	8	7.5
Construction	8	7.5	8
Overall	8.5	8	7.5
Total Burger	62.5	60	58.13
Sides	9.25	8.5	8.5
Atmosphere	7	7	8
Value	6.75	7	5.5
Non Burger	19.625	19	19.25
Totals	82.13	79	77.4
Combined		80

Flat Top Burger Shop

Week 5
Match up 3
Flat Top Burger Shop VS TBD




Brian:

I preface this write-up with a fact: I'm a fat guy. Flat top Burger makes a f***in' good burger like that f***in' good milkshake John Travolta had in Pulp Fiction. And I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that it's run by two fat guys. These guys care about burgers. No intro feel-good stories about walking in to a cozy restaurant with a cute waitress this time. At Flat top, you walk up to a glass window in the side of an old gas station/garage. You order your burger like I used to order my cigarettes back in DFW when they were $2.15 a pack with tax. You go sit in a cold open-air room on a bench and they softly blast some grueling C&W music at you from some crappy computer speakers. You're not feelin so great. Then they bring you your burger in a sack. You unwrap the old-school paper wrapping. You situate your burger and sides. You take a bite of the burger. You then utter "Oh My God". Flat top cooks on a griddle (Yes!). They cook the onions up, then they smash your burger down on top of that and cook it til the onions fuse into the meat in a crunchy blackened film of amazingness. You get two patties with cheese on the standard burger. I added a buck for grass-fed. The meat was delicious. Perfectly seasoned and perfectly cooked. I assume there was a bun and toppings and that they were stellar as well, because I was really bummed when I was finished. Hand-cut fries of a nice thickness. Onion rings are great. You can order a mix. That's another bonus so I don't have to do half and half with my buddy and have a race against time to make sure I get my fair share of rings and fries. Flat top is a great place. Low on atmosphere, high on burger wizardry. It is gonna be real interesting to see how they fare against the 1300 the Zone burger bracket champ: Mike's Pub. It's on!

Zach:


Third time to have this burger, and they keep getting better. The regular cheeseburger is double meat, double cheese (American). I asked for no lettuce as usual. This burger is incredibly juicy. It comes served in the thin white paper from days of old so that you can see where the paper is clear that is the grease leaking out. To me Flat Top has captured the way hamburgers once used to taste and the way they should taste. While the two patties and cheese and toppings makes for a juicy experience, the bun somehow holds everything together well. The toppings balance extremely well and add to the flavor. I noted that this burger works especially well when dipped in ketchup, but it also works without. I deducted a tiny half point or so for the tomatoes being just a bit too much here. The sides are extremely solid as well. I know there are better fries and rings out there in the world, but from past experience, these fries and rings are probably both in the top 20% of what I have had around. The fries could be a bit bigger (cut) and the rings as well could be bigger and more well formed although I noted that they were about twice as big from the first time I tried them when they were very small "onion pieces" more than rings. The flavor of both, especially the rings, is terrific. Atmosphere is perhaps Flat Top's weak spot. It's outdoors so if it's cold (or hot) it may not be pleasant. It was pretty cold while we were here which wasn't too big a deal once the burgers arrived but without the distraction of a delicious burger it was a bit chilly. Also they play country music on a small computer speaker (sounds ok) but personally we all found their tune selection a bit grueling. We all agreed we like some country music, but some of the stuff was not good. This is the kind of thing I imagine a restaurant would and could change if enough people said something, so perhaps I will send them some feedback on that. Service was decent if a tiny bit flaky but seems about par for the course here in the ATX. Just to wrap up - this is an awesome burger and one of my favorites in Austin. Prices are reasonable as well, easily on par with burgers of similar (and worse) quality.

Dre:

So this was my first trip to Flat Top and I gotta say I’m a fan now. First of all I dig the set-up. It’s an old gas station/mechanic garage that’s been converted to this bare-bones burger hut. Flat Top keeps it simple – burgers, fries and onion rings and that’s pretty much it besides the veggie burgers and chicken sandwiches cause it’s Austin. I appreciate this since they have the food they do make down to a science. The young lady at the order counter gets points for reading Game of Thrones and even more points for the Run DMC t-shirt. No comment on the tightness of said t-shirt. I ordered the standard cheeseburger which is a double-pattied half-pounder. Just a dollar to upgrade it to grass-fed? Sold. Bacon and jalapenos were both very reasonably priced – check and check. The seating was set up in the wide-open garage bays so it might get uncomfortable in extreme weather conditions but it wasn’t too bad the cold night we went. Just when I start to worry that they lost my order, my name is called and I was brought a paper sack full of deliciousness. The sack was the first signal that I was about to experience something special. Then it was the old-fashioned white paper wrapper. Finally I take that first bite and wow. This place makes burgers how I like my burgers. It’s in the name – cooked just right on a “flat-top grill” – a welcome change after all these charred burgers. The way they cook the onions into the burger is genius and the bacon was close to perfect like the meat. I wanted a little more punch from the jalapenos though. I could nitpick about it falling apart on me at the very end or the bread being a little bit thin for a double but the way that thing all came together was magical. Throw in a super tasty half fries and half rings order and Flat Top won me over. Plus it’s BYOB and I bet the shakes and lemonade are awesome too. The only real drawback was the music which I will easily tolerate for more of this good stuff.

Box Score: Flat Top Burger Shop V Mike's Pub

+++

Flat Top
	Andre	Brian	Zach
Bread	8	8	8
Meat	9	9.5	9
Toppings	9	8	8
Construction	8	9	8.5
Overall	9	9.25	9.25
Total Burger	65.00	66.25	65.00
Sides	8.5	8.5	8
Atmosphere	6.5	6.5	6
Value	8.5	8	8
Non Burger	19.25	19	18
Totals	84.25	85.25	83.00
Combined		84

Hill's Cafe

Week 4
Matchup 2
Texas Chili Parlor VS Hill's Cafe

Brian:

Hill's Cafe steps in to take on the Chili Parlour, and the bar is set fairly low for Hill's Cafe to succeed given TCP's relatively lackluster scores. We roll up to Hill's Cafe and it feels like apart from Austin as we pull in the elongated old-school parking lot and scope the throwback edifice. This is a family restaraunt and that's cool with me. Lots of wood or fake wood is used in the interior. We are seated in a not-unpleasantly-full dining room. They took our drink orders and I had sweet tea because that felt right for the type of place we were at plus I could use the caffeine to help stay up for the movie later. Anyway they asked us if we wanted some bread or rolls and we said "no" but a different guy brought us a hot basket (one for the Urban Dictionary right there) so I had one of their hot rolls with some butter and boy was it good. I opted for a good ol' cheeseburger and we split an appetizer basket of their homemade onion rings. The rings took a little bit to come out but they were tasty. They were hand-cut and hand-battered in a nice breading that was not overly crunchy, nor overly soft. It had a pleasing texture and a good kick to it. They were awesome. The burgers came out and I was excited about the fries on the side. Nice potato wedge looking jawns. They were good. Good sides here. The main thing..the main feature about the burger at Hill's Cafe is that it is served on a kolache-type bun, that has a bit of sweetness. It is a delicious bun but it is quite hefty. The flavor dominates the burger. Nevertheless I could still taste the meat which was well seasoned, if not expertly so. Once again the plague known as "lack of burger cheesiness" had swept over Hill's Cafe. Places just need to come with two slices already. The burger was chargrilled and well-constructed. Not amazing, and now worth driving a long distance for, but very solid overall and worthy of contention. And yes, Hill's Cafe vanquished TCP on this night. Later on we watched "Vigilante" by William Lustig and it featured Fred "The Hammer" Williamson's best role that I've seen.
Dre Review

Zach:

Had not been here in a really long time. Probably when I came it was with friends who had heard about it and probably we had chicken fried steaks or something. Their burger did have a pretty good reputation and made the cut to be in the bracket, so we made the journey down south to find out.

The good thing about this burger is that is has excellent meat and fresh toppings. The bad thing about this burger is the bread completly smothers everything and hurts the balance. The bun is super thick and of the sweet/soft variety. I do like this type of bun at Phil's Ice House but there it is smaller relative to the meat and in perfect balance. The burger received mediocre scores from all including myself. I had the regular burger that has just the standard toppings with mayo and mustard on the side.

The sides were much better. We tried the onion rings and fries. The onion rings were some of the better we had had, although they were not nearly as good as Frisco which I hold as the reigning champ of rings. The fries were also good, wedge cut with a lot of seasoning.

Hill's did defeat Chili Parlor, which was too bad, as Chili Parlor is typically better I think but just seemed to drop the ball that night. Also, while the burgers account for most of the points, Hill's fries and rings were much better than the weak side options of TCP which are chips and potato salad.

While Hill's claims to have a best burger title from some unknown year bestowed by the Austin American Statesman, I couldn't really see this being top 20 even in it's current configuration. Still, it was solid burger with great sides.

Dre:

Hill’s Café was a nice place with a real old Austin feel, family friendly but I thought the burger was not quite up to par. I got the Tex-Mex Burger cause it’s my style with the bacon strips and roasted jalapenos. The bun tasted fine but there was way too much of it – overpowered the whole burger. I found the meat to be on the bland side; nothing to set it apart from the typical chargrill. Toppings were the biggest letdown – the jalapenos didn’t have any bite and the bacon was mad soggy. That big ass bun did hold it all together well. It was an okay burger but standards have to be high to get a true winner of this thing. Sides is where Hill’s really shined with some tasty wedge style fries that were good and crispy on the outside. And those onion rings were fantastic! Best I’ve had in a minute. Service was really good. My bet is that they make some really good food at this place but the burgers just aren’t at the top of that list.

Box Score: Texas Chili Parlor VS Hill's Cafe

---

Texas Chili Parlor				VS	Hill's Café
	Andre	Brian	Zach			Andre	Brian	Zach
Bread	7	7	6.5		Bread	7	7.5	7
Meat	7.5	7.5	7		Meat	6.5	7.5	7
Toppings	7.5	7	6.5		Toppings	6.5	7	7.5
Construction	7	8	7		Construction	7	7	6.5
Overall	7.5	7	6.5		Overall	6.5	7.5	6.75
Total Burger	55.00	54.38	50.00		Total Burger	50.00	55.00	51.88
Sides	5	6	5		Sides	8.5	9	8
Atmosphere	7	8	6.5		Atmosphere	7.5	7.5	7
Value	7	6.5	7		Value	6.5	7	7
Non Burger	15.5	17.25	15		Non Burger	19.25	20	18.5
Totals	70.50	71.63	65.00		Totals	69.25	75.00	70.38
Combined		69			Combined		72